Mentally replaying past situations that caused hurt will trap you in emotions like regret, remorse, or resentment that can be heavy to move through. When you go there, you keep yourself stuck there. It is possible to move forward, gain momentum, and be guided to more. You have spent enough time and energy in the past; it is time to regain control.
Here are four tips to help you move from feeling stuck to stepping forward.
Accept your emotions.
We say it all the time; you are entitled to feel how you feel; however, don’t allow your feelings to be the reason not to create change. Excuses are where suffering happens. Yes, you’ve been through some challenging, inexcusable experiences in your life, but only you can choose to move forward.
Start with taking a moment to process how you feel and then gently work on pulling yourself out. You have to feel the pain but not absorb the pain. When you absorb hurt, you don’t work through it. You hold it in, and that creates your suffering. Pain has to be transmuted and released. Stop lying down and sacrificing your happiness. Change it by standing up and wanting more for yourself. There comes a time where you have to accept how you feel and then actively do something to change the energy it has created within you.
Yes, it happened, and you will relive it from time to time, but you are repeating the old feelings when you keep going there. Here is a phrase to repeat to help you move from that old energy to something more positive. “That moment is behind me. I have learned from it, and I am focused forward. Right now, my happiness is most important to me and I am doing something about it.”
Set intentions.
No matter how many times you replay the past, nothing will change what happened. What happened, happened, and there’s no turning back the clock, and there’s no changing it. Once you begin to accept the past for what it is, you can start to move forward. Set intentions for your happiness. Give yourself 7 minutes daily. You deserve 7 minutes.
You have seven days in a week to make a change, decide to spend 7 minutes giving back to you. If you felt rejected, spend 7 minutes loving who you are in the mirror. If you felt abandoned, spend 7 minutes discovering who you are. Consider a week a cycle and repeat it as needed.
Let yourself off the hook.
Moving forward is not letting the past off the hook; it’s about letting your mind off the hook from your pain. In other words, release the situation from your mind by letting go of the hurt and despair about what happened.
There is an excellent story from Buddha about resentment. It says that resentment is like picking up a lump of hot coal that was meant to be thrown at somebody else. In holding the coal, you are the one suffering the burn. As long as you hold onto resentment over past hurts, you’re harming yourself much more than anyone else.
Only you can create the life you want, and that life does not exist on the same frequency as resentment. Stillness and staying stuck in the past versus movement to the life you desire cannot share the same space.
Look for lessons.
Most people cannot forgive or let go because they are looking for closure. There is nothing to close, only welcome. Stop looking for closure; look for the lesson. The lesson is where you find all the closure you need. Closure is for the ego; the lesson is what the soul needs to thrive. Most people learned to walk by falling first.
Life allows us to learn by making mistakes, sometimes we get it right, and sometimes we get it wrong. This applies to every area of our life, including our hurt, pain, and difficulty. Be grateful that you are walking and embrace what falling taught you. Today is a great day to make a list of everything you are proud of in your life.
Try one of the Commanding Life Journals, they can help you focus on gratitude and focused on your light.
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Keep going my friend, finding what feels good will empower you to live the life you desire.